Brief synopsis of the readings: Abraham and Sarah occupy center stage in the first reading. Here the Lord appeared to Abraham as three men. Following the custom of the time, Abraham offered them hospitality and they accepted. Abraham offered them food and water (and relief for their feet) and then directed Sarah to bake bread for them and when she presented herself they told her that by the time they returned she would have a son. Luke’s Gospel recounts the encounter between Jesus and Martha and Mary (who were sisters). While Mary listened to Jesus’ words Martha was distracted by serving the guests. Martha complained to Jesus that she was stuck with all the work while her sister Mary was listening to Jesus. Jesus answered her by saying: “Martha, Martha, you worry and fret about so many things, and yet few are needed, indeed only one. It is Mary who has chosen the better part.”

The Catholic Lectionary connects the first reading and the Gospel and most of the time the connection is clear. I have to confess that I read these readings several times in search of the connection between the three men who spoke to Abraham (who promised Sarah and him a child) and the dialogue in Luke’s Gospel between Jesus and Martha.

Normally I see these readings through the eyes of my own experience. At a point in my reflection I recognized that these readings make sense not through my lens as a man, but through the lens of a woman.

I’m embarrassed to say how long this took me. I doubt that the (celibate male) priests had this in mind when they chose these readings, but they make sense through a feminine lens. When I changed my focus, the readings fell into place in a way I wouldn’t have guessed.

The reading from Genesis calls us to explore the agonizing and lingering pain of infertility. When God called Abram from Ur to travel to a new land Abram was promised he and his wife Sarai (who would change their names to Abraham and Sarah) would have children. Three chapters earlier God promised them they would have as many descendants as there are stars in the sky. But by the time of this reading they had given up on children and their grief can only call us to imagine how betrayed they must have felt. If the God who promised them children betrayed them here, what other promises would be broken?

And we know that the pain of infertility creates spiritual pain that spans years, decades, centuries, and millennia. From our very beginning as people we’ve seen our roles in terms of producing the next generation. Time and again when I’ve spoken with people at the end of their lives and asked about what gives them the most pride, nearly all speak of their children. And while infertility devastates both member of the couple, it’s not seen as equal. Before we could perform tests that tells us “which one can’t” (and, honestly, oftentimes since) most of us assumed it was the woman. Nobody describes a man as being barren, only women.

The reading from Genesis begins with Abraham sitting in the shade, the only reasonable respite from the pounding sun. It’s an odd beginning of the reading as it describes God appearing to Abraham when he (Abraham) looked up and saw three men standing before him. My best guess is this: the author of this story wanted us to understand that Abraham viewed these men as being sent by God. In any case Abraham ran toward them and said: “Sir, if I may ask you this favor, please do not go on past your servant. Let some water be brought, that you may bathe your feet, and then rest yourselves under the tree. Now that you have come this close to your servant, let me bring you a little food, that you may refresh yourselves; and afterward you may go on your way.”

This requires a little context. At that time, in that place, hospitality was a requirement. It was a hard land and travelers depended on strangers for their survival. The three men were likely not surprised by Abraham’s offer.

But Abraham must have been astonished when they asked about his wife. They not only knew he had a wife, but they knew her name, and they asked to see her. I find it crucial that when they promised a child to them, they insisted that both husband and wife be present. At that time, in that place, these three nameless men could have easily seen Abraham as the only person important enough to receive this good news but they didn’t. It was important that both Abraham and Sarah receive their good news.

And since we know the “rest of the story” we know that Sarah will indeed bear a child, Isaac, and he will marry and father children, and … every Jew, Christian, and Muslim born since then will claim Abraham and Sarah as common ancestors.

But given this, how do we view today’s Gospel? Well, we can look at the three men, chosen by God to speak to Abraham, who insisted that Sarah be part of the conversation and see how the voice of women are included. They knew that the birth of Isaac was not the result of Abraham or Sarah, but the union of both of them.

I believe that just as these three men gave Sarah a voice, so does Jesus allow Martha’ voice in this Gospel (despite her own objections). Many of us look at this Gospel and wonder if the dishes ever got done, but the relationship between Martha and Mary informs our understanding of women even to this day.

I really don’t think this Gospel is about chores, or even about the balance between “work and contemplation” as I was told as a child. I believe this is about the role of women in Christianity. Just as women have been valued in their ability to bear children, they’ve also been valued in their ability to “keep house.” As a married man, I have to (painfully) ask this: how many times have we attended a dinner party where the men finished the meal and repaired to the living room while the women did the dishes? How many times have we assumed that “the women” were fine not being part of our conversations, and that God blesses our prejudices?

Maybe Martha doesn’t think Mary “knows her place” because she (Martha) is stuck with the dishes. Perhaps she doesn’t “know her place” because Mary has the audacity to listen to what Jesus has to teach. The dishes will wait, but Jesus’ message is time sensitive.

Regardless, Jesus tells Mary that she has “chosen the better part” not because she has left the dishes for tomorrow but because she has claimed her place as a disciple of Jesus.

As I write this we are 2,100 years removed from this reading. We’ve made incredible progress: women now have rights that would have been unimaginable then. But when it comes to the mutual role we have with each other in creating the next generation of disciples, I pray we listen to the lessons of these readings.

We are all Abraham. We are all Sarah. We are all Martha. We are all Mary. And (most importantly) we are all the three men sent by God to change how we view our roles. And we are all Jesus showing how Mary chose the better part.