Brief synopsis of the readings: Our first reading takes us back to the first chapter of the Acts of the Apostles. Judas had been one of the Twelve, Jesus’ closest disciples; since Judas committed suicide after betraying Jesus he needed to be replaced. Here the community of disciples gathered to find Judas’ replacement. They wanted someone who had been with Jesus for his entire public ministry. They nominated two candidates: Joseph, known as Barsabbas and Matthias. They drew lots and believing that this would allow God to choose, and Matthias was chosen. John’s Gospel describes Jesus raising his eyes to Heaven and praying to God. His prayer is clearly meant for the benefit of his disciples. He speaks of how he (Jesus) has been given care of the disciples and he has fulfilled that mission. The only who was lost, clearly a reference to Judas, chose to be lost. Jesus goes on to state that he is not asking that his disciples be removed from this world, but instead that they be protected from the evil one. Just as Jesus was sent into the world, so too are his followers so they may be consecrated in truth.

So exactly what do we get for following Jesus? To put it in 21st Century words, what is our return on investment? At first blush this question may seem cynical but the question of why follow is one we all must answer.

Our first reading is another account of an event at the very beginning of our church, at a time where Jesus’ followers were taking the first baby steps in setting up their community. And in setting it up they were faced with a problem: what to do about Judas?

Clearly Judas was not someone they wanted to think about and his picture clearly was not going on the brochure they passed out to early followers. While virtually none of the disciples could look with pride on their actions when Jesus was arrested and crucified, Judas was in a place by himself.

For reasons that never get explained, Judas didn’t just abandon Jesus, he betrayed Jesus. When the religious leaders began to form a plot to arrest Jesus, it was Judas who (in return for 30 pieces of silver), brought the armed guards to Jesus where he was arrested. In Matthew’s account Judas repented of what he did and attempted to return the silver. Then he killed himself.

For Jesus’ early followers this posed a problem: Do we replace him as one of the Twelve or do we go on and not talk about him. They felt that they did need to replace him, if for no other reason than to keep the number at Twelve. Numbers back then meant much more to ancient peoples than they do to us. Just as there were twelve tribes of Israel, so too are the leaders of this early group a grouping of twelve. As a matter of fact the Catholic Church holds that the community of bishops are descended (by office) from the Twelve. And so they drew lots (threw dice basically), believing that God worked through that to make His choice.

But the question of Judas goes much deeper than finding his replacement. The passage from John comes directly before Judas betrays Jesus, and while Jesus directs this as a prayer to his Father, it’s obvious that Jesus said these words for his disciples to hear. Jesus’ words here are almost tender as he likely knew what was coming for both him and those in his care.

The tone in John’s Gospel is often different from the other three Gospels. A few weeks ago we explored the idea of the Good Shepherd, and here Jesus assumes that role as he speaks of his disciples being under his care. He even makes a passing reference to Judas (who is not present) when he says: “I have watched over them and not one is lost except the one who chose to be lost.”

But in this passage I find this the most compelling: “I am not asking you to remove them from the world, but to protect them from the evil one.” Every time I read this passage this is the verse that jumps out at me.

Going back to the beginning of this homily, I asked why we should be followers. If you asked those in my grandparents’ generation their answer was simple: this is the only path to salvation. Heaven is reserved only for those who follow Christ (and perhaps only for Catholics). As a matter of fact this was the reason given for most of our history.

I think most people today don’t believe this is true. But unfortunately this has led at times to a belief that is even more troubling: following Jesus will insulate you from pain and suffering.

Stories of Christian cults pepper our history. False prophets proclaim that the whole of salvation history points to them and their followers. In our own lifetimes we have seen Jim Jones in Jonestown, David Koresh in Texas and Heaven’s Gate in California. They have all led to destruction: their followers were promised a life free from pain and suffering, and all ended with death.

But this isn’t simply the domain of cults. I think at times we all think this way. Many years ago I spent some time as a prison chaplain and met a fascinating swath of humanity. Many of the inmates recognized that they needed to change something in their lives and some of them embraced one faith or another. One young man had recently become Christian; he had begun to pray, read his Bible, and attend church services. He sought me out when knew I was there and told me he felt terrible. “I won’t go into details but I had a really bad day yesterday. I thought if I became a Christian that would stop happening.”

I stifled a chuckle but told him that if becoming a Christian ended suffering it would be a great deal more popular. I also told him that it would make evangelization in prison a good deal easier. I told him that while I was happy he wanted to turn his life around, following Jesus wasn’t going to be an easy or smooth path.

But then he asked me what the purpose of following Jesus was, if not to make his life easier. I have to confess that I didn’t have a great answer for him. There we were, both in our early 20s, but worshipping the same God, and both struggling with how that was going to play out the rest of our lives.

I don’t know where he is now, and I hope somebody (perhaps himself) gave him a better answer. But here’s what I would tell him now:

We don’t have a way to prevent suffering in this life. Perhaps it makes us stronger, kinder, and more willing to see our part in improving the lives of others. We see Jesus as the perfect person, like us in all things but sin. But we can clearly see how he suffered. We see him frustrated, misunderstood, and ultimately betrayed and killed.

Rabbi Harold Kushner uses the image of eyeglasses. When we choose to believe we see the world differently, as if we put on a pair of glasses. The world comes into sharper relief and we see things more clearly. But understand that this does not change the world at all. The world remains exactly the same but we see it more clearly.

And perhaps that’s what Jesus asked when he asked that his disciples be protected from the evil one. The world was created by God and His choice to give us free will both entrusts us and allows us to be evil. But in the end God is in charge and we will all benefit from God’s kingdom.

But I think there’s even more to it than that. Knowing that we are protected by God allows us to give better an we receive. To the young man in prison I would say this: nobody doubts that you are in a place that is capable to great evil and on some level you have the world’s permission to be as evil as your environment. But the call to follow Christ calls you to do better than that. You have the power to be a small beacon of hope here, and this is a place where a small amount of light can shine pretty brightly.

You can reach out your hand in compassion to someone who has been evil to you, but that may not do much good. You can reach out your hand in compassion to someone who is not evil, but scared. And while there is evil here there is even more fear. As you mature as a Christian you may find that some of the frightened ones gravitate to you. And you can turn on that light in him.

Next week is Pentecost. Perhaps we can spend part of this week thinking about how we want to celebrate that feast.